When you are making a whole bunch of evening bags to put into gift bags for a whole bunch of celebrities--well, when you're making a whole bunch of anything for a bunch of celebrities, it's hard not to get nervous....your head starts playing mind games. Like--will they like it? Will they just toss it in the trash? Will they give it to a homeless person, or one of their kids? Or even worse--since a homeless person or a kid would at least use the bag--would they actually mention your name in public and say something really horrible about your product, thereby ending once and for all any chance you ever have of success in the future?
I try not to think like this when I'm either designing, or worse--have a sharp pair of scissors in my hands. Instead, I try to think of these people as just plain old regular people like....us. You know--the old saying about "they put on their pants one leg at a time, just like we do." That kind of crap. Or how someone is always telling you to picture someone naked when you have to speak in public (when I used to have to speak in public, I never did that, because it would make me break out in a fit of giggles just before I had to speak--completely undoing any composure I thought I had to begin with, and in the job I had, laughing in public would have been frowned upon--I was a boring public servant). As an aside to this though, I did work in the White House for a year once during my government career, and the President I happened to work for was known to go for strolls and wander into peoples' offices and casually say as he stuck out his hand, "Hi--I'm President ___" (as if he had to introduce himself, for god's sake--like people might actually not know who he was--that always cracked me up) "--and you are? How're you doin'? How's it goin' anyway," as he'd sit down next to their desk--and the poor slob he'd just popped in on, who had his feet propped up on his desk, would promptly spill his coffee as he (or she) would scramble to stand up and practically salute the man--who nearly always left within about a minute and a half anyway, on to the next office he could surprise with a "Hi--how are ya? I'm President ___, and you are?" So, I do know a little what it's like to get hit in the face with a celebrity who is completely oblivious to his/her own celebrity-ism and can't figure out why everybody is spilling their coffee and stumbling around like idiots when he/she walks in the room (I was tongue-tied for the whole 30 seconds he spoke to me, and when he asked me what I did, mumbled something about being an economist--which was completely inane, because of course I was an economist--that's where I was working--or maybe I said I work for you, or something stupid like that...it didn't matter--he just smiled and went on to the next poor equally tongue-tied person).
Anyway--where was I? (You'll find out I'm always saying that.) Oh yeah--trying to just think of celebrities as "normal" people. Not like aliens who dropped in from outer space. Or super-humans endowed with certain special powers. Nope--these are just people like us....they have families and kids, houses with mortgages, bills to pay. They read the paper, they read books, do the NY Times crossword, emails, Facebook. They go to movies that OTHER celebrities star in--and they probably think "wow, those people are awesome. I wish I could be like that." Okay--maybe that last one is a stretch--more like a jealous temper tantrum because their agent didn't get them the part, or they can't afford the agent who might be able to get them the part.
They drink coffee, milk, wine. They eat normal food--I assume. I mean--they have to eat, right? Some of them are even a little OVERWEIGHT--they aren't ALL PERFECT. (Especially the guys.) They brush their teeth--and speaking of that, they go to the bathroom just like the rest of us. There--I said that very nicely, but you know what I was thinking. Yup--number 1 and number 2, just like us. And it's not celebrity poop and pee, either. (At least, I don't think there's such a thing--but since I'm not a celebrity, I can't actually vouch for this--I'm just making an educated guess.) And I suspect they drive regular cars for the most part--the moms probably even drive a minivan, and they all drive on the right side of the road, just like I do. Well, most of the time anyway. (I have my moments--like after a night at the club and a wee bit too much vino--thank god the speed limit is only 25, I live in the neighborhood, no one has ever been pulled over for drinking and driving in the lake, I'm only a mile away from the club and the worst that's ever happened is I occasionally turn down the street before mine and recognize that "hey--this doesn't look like my street"--sure enough, it's not, but I pretend I meant to do it, and just back up and get on the right road.)
They get up, and go to work just like the rest of us. Okay--so 80 million people watch them every week at work. (Does that really make them so special?) They get paid by the episode--hell, I would take an annual salary any day of the week--suppose the show gets cancelled (and it does, a lot--if those 80 million suddenly turn into just 8 million). All of a sudden, you're out of work. That's not a lot of job security. Wait a minute! That's just like........US! Or a lot of us, in this economy, anyway. Somebody doesn't like you? Hit the road, Jack. Hmm--maybe they're a lot more like us than we think. Risky business after all. On the other hand, they have absolutely NO privacy--if they're good at their jobs. So when they do go out in public, people are all over them--imagine walking out of your house and some guy is standing there just waiting to take your picture as you hop in your car to go to the grocery store, and maybe you didn't feel like doing your hair that day, or putting on makeup, or your tee shirt has stains on the hem and you didn't bother tucking it in. Grilled cheesus--you'd feel like you had to have your "glitterazy" on 24-7...no wonder so many celebs live in close proximity--maybe they feel a kind of safety in numbers sort of thing. Or a sort of "it's no big deal--there's a lot of us--nobody's that special" kind of feeling.
I try to think in these terms--the women I'm making evening bags for? Maybe they'd appreciate a beautiful, made-in-the U.S. all by hand, original design evening bag--free! Why would they give it away? It's gorgeous, after all--made with great materials. It didn't come from China (don't get me started on that subject--I have a love/hate relationship with China, which I sometimes can only spell as W-A-L-M-A-R-T, but that's another subject and another blog altogether), they can carry it anywhere--going out to dinner, to parties (if they go to that many--if they really are like us, I'm guessing they still have to put the kids to bed and by then, they're too pooped to party), or even with their jeans to go shopping on Saturdays. And yes--I bet they shop at Target, Old Navy, and even my "favorite" Wal-Mart (though I really hope not), but grocery stores like Safeway and Whole Foods. (They probably wouldn't take it to church, though--it's a little too glitzy for that...or at least, I hope it is.)
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